As I've mentioned here before, our first 4 or so months of nursing were rough. Really rough. Mainly because I had expectations that Jacob would be done eating after 15-20 minutes and then I'd have another hour and a half until he wanted to eat again. Of course, he very quickly showed me that this would not be the case, and that we would be spending almost our entire day attached at the boob. I didn't realize back then how beautiful, beneficial, and necessary this time would be for both of us.
Nor did I realize early on how important it would be for me to nurse him in public. Because our latch wasn't quite where it could have been, leading to marathon nursing sessions and then leading to me feeling like a failure (postpartum depression, undiagnosed until month 4, really made me take everything even more personally than is probably healthy for a new mom) I spent that time mainly inside and didn't even feel comfortable nursing at my family's homes. Even in front of my uber-pro-breastfeeding Mother In Law who bit her lip as I excused myself to pump in her bathroom at Thanksgiving and Christmas. She then practically cheered for me at 6 months postpartum when I finally broke down, sick of pumping, and said, "do you mind if I just nurse him?" while sitting on her couch. "Finally!", she exclaimed, not in a pushy or exhaustive way but in a way that let me know that she had been secretly cheerleading me for months.
That's the kind of support new mothers need. And it's very hard to get that support, or, I should say, take advantage of that support, when it's readily available, if you don't take the plunge and nurse in front of other people. It's amazing how much is revealed about the people around you when you feed your baby from your body in front of them. Of course, the reaction is not always a positive one, no matter how discreet you are, there will always be people who disapprove of you nursing in front of them, whether they say it to your face or not.
But therein lies another huge reason to nurse in public. As wonderful resources like Nursing Freedom have made it their mission, normalizing breastfeeding begins by mothers actually breastfeeding. In public. In front of other people who can see plainly how natural and not obscene it really is. Plus, it is the law in many states (including IL, where myself and all of my nursing mama friends reside) that a woman is allowed to breastfeed in any public place where she is otherwise authorized to be. The alarming trend of mothers being kicked out of restaurants, zoos, parks, and other public venues for feeding their babies only shows ignorance on the part of those employees. And while every mother and baby need to find what situation works for them (covered, uncovered, full-on breast exposure, discreet nursing top, etc.) the point is just to do it. As early as possible.
The earlier you nurse in public, not only will it begin to establish that breastfeeding is normal and not obscene, but it will also boost your confidence as a nursing mother. Of course, this is provided that you are not solely surrounded by people who think it's "disgusting" but that you find a group of people, preferably other nursing mothers, to feed in front of from time to time. I didn't feel confident as a nursing mother until I joined a breastfeeding support group at my local hospital, as well as a playgroup with some of the same mothers, where I was surrounded by babies feeding from their mothers on a regular occasion. And when you nurse in front of those who perhaps don't have children yet, or who think breastfeeding is complicated and exposing, you can show them how discreet it can be, even without a cover.
I was at a bookstore once, with some mama friends, nursing Jacob without a cover and wearing just a v-neck t-shirt, when a woman walked up, within 2 feet of us, and said, "Awww...love it when they sleep." No clue that he was happily sucking away.
Particularly when you are a brand new mother, feeling shaky as it is, whatever you can do to show yourself that you do not need to hide in your house and feed when no one else (other than maybe your partner and mother) is around, the more you'll begin to see how convenient and normal breastfeeding truly is.
Map of breastfeeding laws by state.
Tips for nursing in public from La Leche League. You can also visit Kelly Mom for additional resources.
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