NaBloPoMo Day 3: Free Time

The amount of time I've spent in the last 5 1/2 weeks completely by myself has been limited, despite my husband's amazing support and time spent taking Jacob out so that I could at least rest with Bennett.  I've had 2 opportunities to be in the house completely alone for a brief time to get some work done, and both times, I've encountered a very common problem I hear from others; when given free time, I am suddenly completely unaware of what to do with myself.

I'm a list-maker.  My mom is a list-maker so maybe I got it from her, or maybe my natural disorganized state of being has driven me to try and control the chaos as much as humanly possible.  Either way, I make to-do lists constantly.  This week, I made a specific to-do list for those few moments when Bennett lets me put him down and I find myself with free hands.  Unfortunately, my phone crapped out on me this morning (it's fixed now) and so my fancy new list was inaccessible.

Even without that list, you would think that I would be able to easily tap into a part of me that just instinctively remembers all of the things I mention "not having time for" during the day, but no.  Not happening.  When I finally get time to myself, I scramble around the house like a crazy person picking things up and trying to finally land on one of those things to check off my list.  

Can anyone else relate?  Does anyone know why this happens?  I honestly feel like my brain is being leaked out through my breast milk or something.  Or is it that we overload ourselves with "shoulds" and then when given a chance to do these things our bodies revolt?  I would love to hear your thoughts!