How I'm making peace with having a non-napper

About 4 months ago, Jacob stopped napping on a regular basis.  His molars were coming in and nursing became very painful, and despite all of my attempts to make it work, I couldn't keep him latched more than a couple of minutes without my toes curling in pain.  So our go-to nap solution was gone, and day after day, he was just awake.  I spent a long time really trying to get him to keep napping.  I tried blackout curtains, co-sleeping (when we never had done before), calms forte, chamomile, soothing music, warm bath, warm milk (to hopefully compensate for nursing not really working well), I tried pushing his nap time up, all to no avail.  He would randomly take a nap here or there after an hour or so of playing in his crib, but I wasn't able to put him down anymore.  And now, he's just completely done.

For awhile I was not handling it well.  Having a less than 2 year old who shows signs of still needing to nap but just plain will not take one is something I was not prepared to deal with, as well as losing my quiet time just as I was beginning an online grad program.  I was losing my mind, day after day, my sanity chipped away as he happily played instead of getting the rest I know he needed.  But then, after feeling like I just lost a 4 month boxing match; tired, beaten down, I decided to throw in the towel.

So now, I am making peace with having a non-napper, even though he still shows signs that he needs it. I do not want to keep losing my sanity and I don't want to be angry with my son, so I am trying to let it go.  Instead of napping, Jacob gets quiet time every day in his crib.  He's never as rested or refreshed after his quiet time that he was with naps, and while I do get the brief second wind after taking him out, he's usually pretty fussy by 4 or 5.  I feel that there is really nothing else for me to do, so this is our best and only option.

Here is a list of the positives that I have extracted from this situation:

• He will play in his crib.  For hours.  I have to be happy about that, because I know most people's kids would just scream their heads of if left alone and wide awake, but my son has literally played in his crib for 3 hours before with no crying whatsoever.  And while it's not the same quiet time as I got before (small apartment with thin walls=me hearing everything he's doing while trying to focus on homework) it's still something, and I'm grateful.
• I can leave him in there as long as I want.  I've never left him in there for more than 3 hours (except for one day when I was sick and I left him in there for almost 4 hours as I hung my head over the toilet) but since he is pretty much happy as a clam playing in there, if I have a paper to write or I need some extra time to myself, I can push it to 2-2 1/2 hours, and then on days when I just feel like playing with him I might take him out after an hour.  
• I get to schedule pseudo nap-time.  Since he's not going to sleep anyway, I don't have to worry about rushing home to meet an accustomed nap time, so I can basically put him in there whenever I/we need a break.
• If we're out for a long day trip, I won't be interfering with his routine.  Since he's used to being awake for around 12 hours straight anyway, if we go to the zoo or something, he won't necessarily be super cranky around midday just because he's missing a nap.  (Plus he does sometimes sleep in the car on the way home which is awesome.  Not always, but sometimes)
• When he does take an unexpected nap (usually in the car after an aforementioned long day trip) it's wonderful.  The surprise of seeing my sleeping child when the sun is up is a sweet blessing, and as long as I don't expect it, I can really appreciate it.
• He generally sleeps all night.  And while this was still pretty true while he was napping, he does seem to sleep extra hard once he finally drifts off and we get about 12 hours on a regular basis.  So maybe it's a trade off.  I'd still take the naps, but I'm not expecting them to come back anytime soon, so I'll take what I can get.